#tbh i think a lot of jamie’s anger in s2 and s3 is pretty justified

[faramirsonofgondor]

A great example of ted’s non-confrontational approach is how Ted refuses to correct Trent when he asks if it’s true that they threw a party in the locker room for losing the match in s1. All ted had to do was say “actually that was a party planned for sam’s bday” and it would have changed trent’s attitude to some extent. But no, ted is too stuck in his “people will observe what i do and come around to seeing that i’m right” attitude. There was literally no reason not to correct the record and it made ted look totally unserious about his job!

Yes! Ted is a very non confrontational and I don’t really think he actually understands just how harmful his behavior is. He tends to handle most of his issues by ignoring them and believing that things will sort themselves out. He also acts like people will be able to understand what he wants from and adopt his mindset. Especially when Jamie is concerned. Jamie was harming the teams dynamic in season 1 and Ted just decided to be patient and beat around the bush instead of stepping up and telling Jamie to cut it out.

It sort of reminds of the scene in The Office where Stanley is very openly disrespecting Michael, and Michael tries to take the friendly approach but Stanley continues to be insubordinate and rude. But once Michael actually invokes his authority and tells Stanley that needs to cut it out and respect him, because Michael is his boss, Stanley begrudgingly cleans up his act and begins to respect him.

I think if Ted had done similar, he could’ve seen results from Jamie a lot sooner. The problem is that Ted dances around the topic at first and then gets increasingly frustrated when Jamie doesn’t meet his expectations. Telling Jamie to remember that’s he’s only of 11 and that he should be a team player is truthfully really unclear and shitty advice. Especially considering Jamie has issues picking up on “implied” messages. So, Ted thinks that he’s being clear and telling Jamie to pass the ball around, but Jamie probably didn’t really grasp that. Then the whole thing with stepping over Sam, and Roy trying to fight Jamie happened. And Ted decides the best course of action is to bench Jamie, and he’s still not communicating clearly on why he’s benching Jamie because he thinks it’s obvious. Then, when Jamie says he’s injured, Ted immediately assumes Jamie is lying and blows up at him. Like Ted’s reaction was extremely inappropriate. And I’ve seen a lot of people say that Jamie deserved it for being a prick and shit, but Ted is his boss, who’s nearly twice his age and who (in Jamie’s mind) is punishing him for unclear reasons. The fact that he NEVER clears any of this up is just so?????

And then the whole thing with Sam’s birthday. Like it’s not the only time that someone outright asks Ted something and instead of answering he just completely dodges it. There are so many things he should’ve clarified, like telling Jamie he never sent him away, or telling the team Jamie was coming back. Not to mention, he just never did shit about Nate’s behavior in season 2?? It’s just so frustrating when Ted is supposed to give the team guidance and be a good coach but then he ends up constantly contradicting his own standards for others. Like he says “be curious not judgmental” and then proceeds to be extremely fucking judgmental with Jamie.

I really just don’t think Ted sees how his mindset is hurting the people around him. He has a responsibility to the team to make sure that things go smoothly and they’re all happy and healthy but instead he avoids their issues half of the time, or gives them half assed advice the other half of the time.

Ted just needs to learn to be more direct with other people. His metaphors are so complex and time consuming half of the time and it’s actually a bit irritating. Like the whole Denver Broncos thing after Colin came out??? Ted could’ve just been like “we support you and care about you and whatever you’ve been going through” but instead he has to turn it into this whole speech. Some of Ted’s speeches are appropriate and well timed, but some of them also just really miss the mark.

It’s just really frustrating to see, especially considering Ted fucks Jamie over the most but he supposedly cares about Jamie a lot (which might be true but he never acknowledges how he’s hurt Jamie or that he’s never really shown him that he cares about Jamie). Like I think somewhere in s3 Jamie probably just came to the conclusion that Ted has a problem with him and only him because it seems like Ted is extremely lenient when it comes to everyone else’s shitty behavior but Ted got super mad at him (and the whole Zava shit). In reality, I think Ted has been getting away with being very indirect with other people because they’ve been pretty decent at picking up on what Ted wasn’t saying, but for people like Jamie it was probably just really frustrating and difficult because Ted was being confusing and then extremely angry.

I think Ted’s general avoidant behavior is where his “forgive him” advice comes from as well. Ted got by with never acknowledging or addressing Jamie’s trauma because other people were there to do it for him (Beard giving Jamie Ted’s note, Beard kicking out Jamie’s dad, Roy hugging Jamie, etc.) So when there’s no buffer, when it’s just him and Jamie and he’s not able to avoid the topic he tries to get Jamie to forgive and forget because it gives Ted an out from having to worry about Jamie and his trauma. In his mind, if Jamie just forgives his dad, then there won’t be an issue anymore. And it’s not just Jamie he does this with, he does it with a lot of the team. When there’s a certain situation he can’t relate to he either 1) tries to come up with a story or metaphor that encapsulates his mindset and perspective or 2) he tries to get other people to let their issues go. I think we see this most clearly when Isaac attacks the homophobe in S3. He is extremely aware of the fact that Isaac is upset about what was said, and not in just a “i hate being insulted” kind of way. Nobody just attacks someone like that because they’re insulted. But Ted is either purposefully ignorant or he just oblivious because implies that he should just let that kind of stuff go and ignore it. Which first of all, I really don’t think the locker room, in full view of the team, coaches, and Trent, was the appropriate place to have this discussion. Secondly, I think Ted just doesn’t get that not everyone has his mindset and some things just can’t be let go of that easily (I’m not saying Isaac was justified or anything). Thirdly, Ted should’ve waited for Isaac to calm down and reign in his anger and his frustration before saying anything like that.

Ted acts like his advice/mindset is perfect for every scenario when it’s really not. And it’s an extremely harmful way of thinking because it’s not just Ted that it’s affecting. Especially considering Ted doesn’t actually follow through with a lot of his own advice and expectations. Like the most prominent example I can of is Jamie, who seems to absorb everyone’s advice and follow it to the letter. He applies the advice he’s been given to his mindset and approaches every scenario with it. He understands the poop-eh metaphor and applies it the quickest and most consistently out of everyone in the team. The issue is that sometimes Jamie over corrects for things and it fucks with the boundaries Jamie has with other people. Like the entire scene where Jamie is expressing his concerns about Zava in a respectful manner, and yet here the coaches are making fun of him, telling him that he’s doesn’t really have a right to be upset, and assuming that it’s just his ego. Zava fucking steals Jamie’s first goal of the season, and nobody says shit. This is so inconsistent to Ted’s ideas and expectations in S1, and it’s just really unfair and unprofessional to Jamie. But Jamie doesn’t know if he’s allowed to address that or not because Ted is the one who’s in power and he doesn’t want to risk upsetting Ted again.

Anyways sorry this turned into a whole rant thing, I just have so many thoughts about all of this!